Betray someone – What happens?

betray

By Stephen Russell-Lacy. Someone may feel you have betrayed them. Did you do or fail to do something? It is not so difficult to renege on a personal undertaking. We also betray a fellow worker if we take credit for their work. Or if we fail to stick up for them when someone unfairly criticises them … Continue reading Betray someone – What happens?

Resentful – How can I stop this feeling?

resentful

I suppose it is natural for us to feel resentful when others demean us, frustrate us or do us harm. I feel resentful about how Sharon spoke to me. Not what she said, but how she said it – shouting and slamming the phone down. It’s not as if this were a one-off: there have … Continue reading Resentful – How can I stop this feeling?

Heal distress — Can spiritual practices help?

heal

According to established research, one in four of us experience some form of mild mental health difficulty each year. Even if you do not suffer – what the medics call – identifiable psychiatric morbidity – nevertheless you still may feel bad; fed up, irritable, worried or distressed. In which case, if you are to be … Continue reading Heal distress — Can spiritual practices help?

I hate life – How can I feel better?

I hate life

There’s a lot about life I rather dislike e.g. crime, bad parenting, shoddy goods in the shops, bad-tempered colleagues, dishonest politicians, and the list goes on and on. I bet at some point we all have wanted to blame misfortune, fate, or life itself for not giving us what we think we need. Feeling disgruntled … Continue reading I hate life – How can I feel better?

How good a parent am I?

Parent

Many a parent wonders how good they are at the job. According to the Chief Inspector of Schools, David Bell, many parents fail to impose proper discipline in the home and simply put children in front of the television rather than talk and play with them. Many studies have described a bad parent as being … Continue reading How good a parent am I?

Criticise them – But how to do so safely?

criticise

Yes it can happen. No one likes their faults to be pointed out and some with thin skins see criticism as a personal attack. They get shirty, defensive or bite back. You probably would think twice before taking the risk of saying what you really think to them. Yet keeping quiet means not doing anything about the problem.

The peace of mind mystery

We can’t all escape to a cave to gaze at our navels all week in silent contemplation. That’s the trouble – we can’t get away from life itself with its daily frustrations and setbacks. It’s what takes away our peace of mind. The fact that we have a burning desire for certain things means that we are likely to feel tense or angry if anything turns up to prevent us having them. Sometimes the meaning of life is hard to fathom and the mystery of peace of mind is no exception. There is a fascinating Taoist story that gives us a clue ….

Anger – How can it be healed?

anger

Have you been hopping mad recently? Some people temperamentally seem to be more easily roused to anger than are others. Yet, to some extent we all get irritated at times. Our anger needs spiritual healing. We feel cross when others attack what we love like our child or pet animal. It could be something we love in ourselves, that when attacked, causes us a sense of wounded pride. Offensive put-downs thrown at us in a condescending tone of voice also can get to us.

How to calm anger

Have you been hopping mad recently? Some people temperamentally seem to be more easily roused to anger than are others. Yet, to some extent we all get irritated at times. We feel cross when others attack what we love like our child or pet animal for instance.

It could be something we love in ourselves, that when attacked, causes us a sense of wounded pride. We may experience `road rage’ in our heart, reasoning defensively in our head about it being the other driver’s entire fault.

We might then use our hands to make rude gestures or write letters making unreasonable demands. Offensive putdowns thrown at us in a condescending tone of voice also can get to us. Then irritation easily spirals when we retaliate in kind and the heated things that are said – which on reflection we often do not even mean – hurt both parties. It is possible to harbour resentment for years especially if we continually avoid someone or allow ourselves to slip into the habit of not conversing with them when we do have an opportunity.

Spiritual healing may be a relevant way forward. However making up may be easier said than done. In addition, not every attempt at reconciliation works. After all, it takes two to tango. We need to eat a little humble pie even if the other person does not. The trouble is as …..