There is a cliché which says that there are only two things of which we can be certain in this life, that we are born and that we will die. Yet death is an aspect of life with which it is perhaps difficult to feel at ease. There may be many reasons for that, and … Continue reading How to approach death?
Do you long for a break from the merry-go-round of deadlines, things that must be done, demands from relatives, children, and the job? Do you often feel that you never having enough time in the day to fit everything in? Is part of the problem that we tend to assume that our well-being depends on filling every moment with some thing? That being less economically active not only stops us getting on in life but also leads to boredom and not keeping up with others? Perhaps this assumption is right, but don’t we sometimes take it a bit too far?
Yes it can happen. No one likes their faults to be pointed out and some with thin skins see criticism as a personal attack. They get shirty, defensive or bite back. You probably would think twice before taking the risk of saying what you really think to them. Yet keeping quiet means not doing anything about the problem.
Even living as independent adults in their forties, people can still be haunted by their experience of being mistreated as a child. Such individuals also tend to have recurring negative moods and worry, and long-lasting problems like poor self-esteem, or low self-confidence. From my experience of over thirty years as a clinical psychologist, I can say that an … Continue reading Childhood — How do I tackle unhappy memories?
When the women’s movement spoke up for the value of women it rebelled against the traditional gender stereotypes and proclaimed equality between the sexes. It quite rightly opposed any idea of male superiority and female subservience. However this idea of equality has also led to a minimising and even denial of any basic differences between the sexes.
A lot of us have grown careless in what we say. “It wasn’t my fault we lost the game, I didn’t hear the whistle.” or “I was pushed over and my foot hurt.” Who has never made up an excuse to stop feeling embarrassed? This covering up may seem harmless enough but over time a … Continue reading Honesty – Is it really the best policy?
Brian Moore the former English rugby international player sees something of discontent in himself. What he wanted was success. And he pushed himself really hard over and over again to do well. He now recognises that whether it be in sport, business or whatever field you are in, if you are too driven you can … Continue reading Discontent – Why do I have this?
One of the conditions of effective counselling according to Carl Rogers is unconditional acceptance. Not judging others. Some people believe that unconditional acceptance can be a healing factor also in ordinary interactions of everyday life. For them this would involve practising forgiveness when someone hurts you, and giving encouragement to those who fail to show good behavior, and even not criticising those who do wrong.
But just how realistic is this approach?
Children and grandchildren can provide your child rearing with wonderful moments. Their spontaneity and sense of fun can brighten your day. But almost out of the blue all hell can break loose and they can be a real pain testing your limits and boundaries. What they want can be different from what you want. They … Continue reading Child rearing – What spiritual practice helps?
If we were to cultivate the habit of positive thinking, I feel it could transform our world. To me, finding a reconciliation for all our past suffering and pain, anger and rage means that we would not be risking the chance of spoiling the future by staying locked in the past. I believe there are … Continue reading How do you live spiritually?