By Stephen Russell-Lacy.
According to mindfulness meditation we should adopt the outlook of ‘non-striving’ to deal with stress. But how can non-striving be a goal if we are encouraged not to strive for it?
Stress and non-striving
A part of my body might feel uncomfortable. For example churning in the stomach, a tense forehead, or sweating of the palms. Triggers for bodily stress could be thinking about a recent embarrassing mistake, anticipating an event we are not looking forward to, or dwelling on something that we are sad about and wish hadn’t happened.
From a mindfulness perspective, these signs indicate we need a new non-stress inducing attitude towards our expectations, hopes and goals.
Mindfulness meditation and non-striving
When learners are trying to meditate mindfully, they are asked to focus their attention on one thing such as their breath. Of course, the mind wanders and the student reports ’I can’t get my thoughts to stop’. The teacher responds by saying “This is okay. We are not trying to get the thoughts to stop—just whenever the mind wanders, gently return it to the object of attention. Allow thoughts, images, and other mental contents to come and go.”
“From a mindfulness perspective the best way to achieve your goals is to back off from striving for results and instead to start focusing on carefully seeing and accepting things as they are moment by moment.” (Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction)
Simultaneously exerting effort whilst not striving to achieve anything sounds like a contradiction. This can be a puzzle for new learners. People ask how can anyone deny the importance of striving towards goals in life? Don’t we have our own priorities which we put our energy into e.g. to gain occupational qualifications to earn a living, to find a loving partner with whom to set up home, to start a family, to gain job advancement?
Meditators are asked to focus their minds. Doesn’t this take effort? So, what’s all this about non-striving? It is anathema to those immersed in a hyper-competitive, goal-obsessed culture. And even for those who are interested in the deeper side of life, this mindset of non-striving is elusive to pinpoint and puzzling to understand.
My attitude to work
When I worked as a clinical psychologist, I wanted to help improve the mental health of people referred to me. I strove to relieve stress, anxiety and depression. However, I soon realised that not everybody significantly improved. I had my successes but also my failures. Occasionally I got a bit up tight wondering whether perhaps some people were doing badly because I wasn’t trying hard enough, or because I didn’t have enough skill, or knowledge.
Of course, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Clinical outcomes are not entirely in the hands of the therapist. Yes, whether people were helped depended on my efforts. But it also depended on the willingness of the client to change. To take responsibility for their own lives. To face up to challenging personal issues. For if therapy is about anything it is about personal change.
In other words, I stopped being emotionally attached to treatment outcome and instead entirely focused on the treatment process. By this for example I mean the extent to which I was talking to the client in a sensitive and thoughtful way. Whether I was communicating helpful information. Not thinking about future results of my work but rather putting my best efforts into doing what I could to improve things right now.
Attachment to outcomes
The concept of mindful non-striving is most associated with Buddhism although in so far as it refers to egoistic goals it is also relevant to a Christ-centred spirituality. The idea is that the root cause of dissatisfaction and unhappiness is striving for things we crave due to attachment to them. Getting good clinical results would enhance my professional reputation and give me a sense of pride but thinking of this would just make me more uptight about work matters.
Non-striving means undertaking any activity, like cooking a meal, playing a game, or learning a skill without being heavily emotionally invested in the outcome. Football managers often tell the press, we are not thinking about our prospects of winning the cup but are focusing in training sessions on preparing for our next match. Again, the focus is on process here and now and not on a future result.
Spiritual struggle and non-striving
Christ warned about self-centred desires. He was talking about attachment to body, possessions and reputation.
Jesus himself, was not striving for worldly outcomes of his life and ministry, such as bodily comfort and survival, public acclaim and prestige, or even high rates of religious conversion. Instead he focused on the quality of his interactions with other people moment to moment, being patient when his apostles were slow to understand him, showing tolerance when the religious leaders wanted to discredit him, and forgiveness when people conspired to kill him. I would suggest this was because he was following Divine leadership rather than any personal objectives. There was still a spiritual conflict with his inner demons going on. This is shown for example from his anguish whilst praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
Conclusion about non-striving
I conclude that a state of calm comes when we are focusing on the present moment as we deal with life’s daily challenges. Striving for what we want in the future only makes us uptight.
We each may wrestle with our conscience regarding ethical matters that crop up all the time. However, for me, spiritual struggle is greatly helped when I recall a religious message. The one about focusing on what God wants me to do. And getting on with it without striving instead towards what I want for myself.
Copyright 2019 Stephen Russell-Lacy
Author of Heart, Head & Hands Swedenborg’s perspective on emotional problems
