New Year resolutions are quickly forgotten. What happened to that plan to gain control over an unhealthy habit? Where did the resolve go to be more tolerant of the noise and untidiness around us? When did we forget we were trying to find time for people who need us? It is all very well trying to gain self-control, be more patient and more generous with others. However, actually doing these things can prove a different matter. To succeed in these simple goals seems like a radical shift in who we essentially are. Is a change of character even possible?
Change of character needs help
My answer stems from the ideas of spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg. According to this view, change of character really is possible. It may take a while but it can happen. It requires just two things. First, we must realise we cannot change our vices into virtues just through our own efforts. We cannot do it alone. Such a transformation requires a higher spiritual power to work the miracle. One we can find through looking to Divine help.
Change of character needs persistent effort
Second, we need to make a daily effort. Unless we work hard at it, no change will occur. In other words its no good just believing in God’s saving power. This is important. But we also need to do our bit. To persist in asking for help and to persevere in the effort to resist the old patterns of behaviour.
A story about doggedness
A story found in the Gospel of Luke illustrates this. A man went to his neighbour at midnight and said, “Lend me three loaves of bread; a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have no food to offer him.”
The one inside answered, “Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.”
But he was persistent. Eventually, the neighbour got up and gave him what he needed.
Spiritual effort
Likewise we need doggedness in our our inner efforts. To keep asking for help. Old habits die hard. So we need to be persistent in following the new path.
For Swedenborg, a better inner life begins to happen only after there is a conscious turning away from what the conscience perceives as failings, faults and fallacies within one’s makeup. This requires effort and plenty of it. No pain, no gain. Once we have made the effort to ‘turn our minds around’ the spiritual labour must continue, and not surprisingly our ego is likely to object, or procrastinate, or try to find some easier way (though useless ones in the end) to avoid any hard spiritual work.
Temptation of old ways
A real intended priority could be speaking normally rather than shouting back at your partner. It could be forgetting a resentment rather than bearing a grudge towards your sibling. Do we learn from lapsing from these priorities? Or do we repeat the same mistake over and over?
As much as we may strive to continue in a new direction, there are always times that we slip back into our old ways.
The limits of patience, tolerance and good manners can be sorely tested by those closest to us… There’s a real need to keep working at our significant priorities; if they cease to be priorities then they lapse and ultimately are likely to be so reluctantly acknowledged that they cease to be valued. (Christine Bank, Swedenborgian teacher)
We need to inwardly exert ourselves when back-sliding would be easier. Don’t give up.
Unless we do what we intend, there is a lack of real intention inside that eventually becomes unwillingness (Emanuel Swedenborg )
Copyright 2024 Stephen Russell-Lacy
Author of The Great Questions of Life
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