By Stephen Russell-Lacy.
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Is suffering pointless or can any meaning be found in it? This is one of the great questions. Whether there is a futility to life?
“I have seen too many times the arbitrariness of a world in which an incredibly kind and wonderful person meets a sudden and painful death, and I have also seen people who are fundamentally unkind and even evil flourish.” (Dr James R. Doty, Neurosurgeon)
You may assume that events in the world are mostly random. But don’t feel life is futile. Then you may be interested in finding some meaning to the suffering we see all around us.
Futility to life supported by unreasonable thinking
Sometimes things get on top of us. Then, don’t we feel like petulantly demanding there be no difficulty or adversity for us to have to face? The trouble is, life does not deliver all that we want. It makes no sense that because we desire something that it must be so. We can strongly prefer that there be no pain and misery. But how does it follow just because we prefer this, it must be so?
One may blame a dysfunctional parent, as the reason for one’s unhappiness. Or point the finger at a less than satisfactory intimate relationship, a financial disadvantage, or something else. We also might choose to hold a grudge against others or life itself for our woes. Such thoughts suggest an unhealthy sense of entitlement.
These feelings of victim-hood get in the way of developing more mature and helpful ways of thinking. To habitually condemn something or someone for one’s unhappiness, unfortunately perpetuates bitterness, resentment, and powerlessness. Such traits hinder the growth of feelings of equanimity, acceptance, and autonomy.
“Almost all painful feelings have their source in an incorrect way of looking at reality.” (The Buddha, as written by Thich Nhat Hanh)
Futility to life and attitudes to suffering
What attitudes we choose to adopt can change our experience of life. Are we stuck in the past, going over and over in our heads how someone badly treated us? Instead, are we just thankful that a bad experience is over? Misfortune can be a chance to learn instead the role of the survivor. It can prompt the courage that is required to tackle the unknown. It encourages us to go in a new direction and experience new confidence that comes from success.
“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” (John Milton, ‘Paradise Lost’)
The experience of things going wrong, challenges us to try to think in reasonable ways.
“What good is, and indeed what blessedness and happiness are, nobody with even the sharpest mind is able to perceive unless he has experienced the state of being deprived of good, blessedness, and happiness. It is from this experience that he acquires a sphere of perception; and he acquires it to the same degree that he has experienced the contrary state.” (Emanuel Swedenborg, spiritual philosopher)
We can react to the horrors of life by feeling overwhelmed. But this does not help us change the things that we are in a position to do something about.
Reflection on values
For some, it is good to take cold showers in the morning or lead a self-denying lifestyle. I must admit this is not for me. Such people, however, think that this sort of discomfort can instill self-discipline. It reminds them of the insignificance of bodily comfort compared with other values.
Victor Frankl, cites a study at the Yale School of medicine into ex-prisoners of war in Vietnam. The attitude of a large proportion of them impressed researchers. Their captivity was extraordinarily stressful – filled with disease, malnutrition and solitary confinement. Nevertheless, many explicitly stated that they somehow benefited from seeing it as a meaningful experience.
Whatever trials come into our lives, they might be somehow essential in forming who we are. When people lose their property to fires or earthquakes it shakes their foundations. Some, however, reflect that they can eventually replace what are only material things of this world. After the crisis, they see material acquisitions as less important. Find more meaning to life than consumerism. Face up, if they choose, to their need for spiritual principles.
Any sense of a futility to life is countered by the way we reflect on what we value.
Futility to life and illness
A bout of illness can help a patient re-appraise an unhealthy lifestyle. Of course, not everyone learns from their mistakes. The painfully inflamed tendon in my arm was frustrating me. It forced me to rest and ration my work of splitting logs. It was my wife, who rightly pointed out, that I needed to learn to pace myself. Not to rush in re-using muscles and tendons which have grown tight and weak due to under-use. Apparently, gardeners tend to hurry out in the spring and strain their backs after a winter of inactivity.
Without pain, we could not be warned of our mistakes or recognize danger. Once scorched or burned we soon learn to avoid hot surfaces and naked flames. Toothache teaches us to take better care of our teeth and gums.
Need for compassion
When others suffer loss or hardship, they may well need our help. This involves an effort to do something good for them. Without suffering there would be no call for compassion.
Helen Keller who was deaf, mute and blind wrote,
’The world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming it.’
When we feel a futility to life, let us remember the meaning of compassion.
Futility to life challenged by self-improvement
Through suffering negative states we can learn self-improvement: like learning self-control over alcohol consumption after suffering the effects of a hangover.
Also, unless we suffer frustration how could we learn patience? Without guilt how could we feel a sense of acceptance? With no experience of persistent difficulty, how might we develop endurance? Likewise, unless we faced danger why would we need courage?
Although suffering is not a desirable end in itself, we can see it as a gateway to personal renewal. Who doesn’t need to learn to set aside selfish and foolish ways in developing their character?
Actually, there is an easier way to consider suffering as the result of selfishness. This is when considering the results of extreme selfish conduct of others.
For example, in the film ‘Dark Angel’, based on a true story, Mary Ann Cotton, travelled around the northeast of England, and insinuated herself into unsuspecting homes. She married had children creating new families of her own – before killing them, taking their money and moving on and doing the same thing again. At one point she says ‘Mistakes get made and you’re too far in to get out.‘ She identified with the wickedness in herself and continued as a serial killer.
It is useful for the suffering which results from self-centredness to show itself. At least this is so according to philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg. He wrote that, otherwise, we could not know self-centredness and learn to resist it. We could not recognise and tackle pride, envy, greed, malice, and other forms of selfishness. This is the case even if they might cause all sorts of unpleasant experiences.
“Unless evils were allowed to surface, we would not see them and therefore would not admit to them; so we could not be induced to resist them. That is why evils cannot be suppressed by some exercise of divine providence. If they were, they would stay closed in, and like the diseases called cancer and gangrene, would spread and devour everything that is alive and human.” (Emanuel Swedenborg)
Help needed in the face of futility to life
There are probably times when we will feel like we cannot pull through what is going wrong in our life. That we don’t have the needed physical, mental, or emotional strength.
In my opinion, experiencing dejection helps us to realise that we cannot hope to conquer the lower forces of the mind: at least not in our own strength alone. The religious person speaks of a broken and contrite heart. Rather than rely on the illusion of self-sufficiency, he or she seeks rescue from despair. Do we need help from a higher power from beyond ourselves?
Life challenges us to call upon our image of a divine spirit. One that might inspire and lift us to a higher level of consciousness. Where the forces of spite, fear, envy and so on cannot hurt us.
Summary about futility to life
Some think about adversity in terms of soul-building. According to this view, suffering hardship and even pain can be good for the soul.
‘No mud, no lotus’ (Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hahn)
I would suggest suffering can teach us lessons we need to learn. Suffering promotes balance, evaluation, and purification.
Copyright 2022 Stephen Russell-Lacy
Author of Heart, Head & Hands Swedenborg’s perspective on emotional problems
