Listen to the sound recording track of this episode
Or read the script below
Read the shorter version
In 2007, in the UK, the Tearfund surveyed 1,000 randomly-selected adults. Prayer seemed an important thing, with one in six of all those surveyed, praying daily and one in four, at least once a week. Yet, it also seems that you don’t have to be religious to want to pray. The survey found 12% of non-religious people said they prayed sometimes.
“I have never been religious. I talk to God every day, but He’s never said a word to me about religion! I think the most powerful prayer is surrender.” (Raymond Moody, American researcher of the near death experience)
What is prayer?
The worldly minded suppose prayer is no different from any other personal practice that induces relaxation. They ask ‘Don’t we relax by sitting in a comfortable position, in a quiet setting, having something calming to focus our attention, and adopting a passive attitude?’
Yet most people would agree that private prayer involves a connection with a mysterious sense of presence. This experience being in line with whatever happens to be the individual’s image of the transcendent.
“Prayer is more than meditation. In meditation, the source of strength is one’s self. When one prays, he goes to a source of strength greater than his own.” (Madame de Stael, French political theorist)
Those people, who see themselves as spiritual but not religious, tend to think in terms of linking to a creative life force. They call this the universal mind, higher power, divine being or spiritual source.
The Buddha said that supplication to deities is not necessary. Nevertheless, Mahayana Buddhists turn for aid to the Buddha and Buddhist saints, praying to them in private prayer. They do this, not only to attain nirvana but also, to obtain help with the trials of this life.
“I don’t know whether I believe in God or not. I think, really, I’m some sort of Buddhist. But the essential thing is to put oneself in a frame of mind which is close to that of prayer.” (Henri Matisse, French visual artist)
Hindus, Christians, Jews and Muslims pray for help to their own image of God. Sadly, when the traditional myths and symbols of religion have been taken only literally, then religions tend towards prejudice and intolerance. However, when prayer is applied spiritually, this is not so. The ritual of public prayer is prominent in western religion. So, it would be no surprise if private prayer were at the heart of the psychology of spirituality.
“Do not neglect secret prayer, for it is the soul of religion.” (Ellen G. White, a leading figure in American vegetarian history)
The western Christian tradition promotes and values the inward journey, encouraging the discipline of personal prayer, times of quietness, and and what is called communion with God.
Question
According to the Tearfund survey, after praying, 38% reported feeling “peaceful and content”. This is a state of mind writers about religion often claim for prayer.
“The sovereign cure for worry is prayer.” (William James, American philosopher and psychologist)
So, can prayer really reduce fear? And if so, how? I would suggest this depends on several factors.
1 Whether invoking a punitive or loving sphere
It is a basic belief of many faith traditions that a God of love can bring blessing out of adversity, and that prayer helps with this.
The way people in distress see their relationships with the human face of God can be a great source of comfort and strength to them. In their darkest hours many of them are sustained by their belief that they are loved by the source of all that is good and all will be well.
This is a very different picture of God to that of the old religion based, I would say, on a mistaken understanding of the Bible and Koran. Sometimes people yearn for God’s help but do not ask for it because they believe they deserve only his judgment. The traditional idea of a punitive and vindictive God is not my religion. It is not a picture of the Divine that I could turn to for rest and peace, but rather one to turn to in fear and guilt; for we don’t find inner peace by feeling condemned.
For love seems to me to be the essence of inner sense of calm and peace; feeling fully accepted warts and all, fully embraced by the unconditional compassion and mercy of selfless love.
“The man who says his evening prayer is a captain posting his sentinels. He can sleep.” (Charles Baudelaire, French poet, essayist and art critic)
2 Whether thinking or also feeling
Some of those who pray may be blind to the reality that they are out of touch with their true feelings. This state of affairs can be compared with some clients in counselling. In their heads they may acknowledge the interpretations offered by the therapist; e.g. about unconscious causes of their problems. This is intellectual insight alone. Unfortunately, this is insufficient and psychodynamic therapists know that without emotional insight no real therapeutic change is likely.
Going through the motions of a prayer in line with what one thinks one believes is one thing. But are the deeper feelings engaged? I would suggest that prayer can only be effective in reducing anxiety, if it inspires a deeper heart-felt trust in divine providence.
3 Being hypocritical or genuine
The spiritual philosopher Emanuel Swedenborg wrote in his diary about one occasion, when he was reading the Lord’s prayer. He claimed to have psychic awareness. In a mystical state of consciousness, he said that he was surprised to notice the spirit of a robber reading it with him. “I observed that he did so with such devotion that I could not tell whether he was of the true faith or not… He then adored the Lord as if from the heart, so that he might be protected.”
Swedenborg commented that this devoutness was short-lived and only lasted as long as the person thought he was in danger. It did not run deep. When the peril passed he was the same thief as before.
The point of this is that it is possible for any of us to pray for a fear to be removed. Yet, what goes on in deep in our hearts can be covered over. For our thoughts or words to have any personal significance, they must be genuine: as opposed to speaking or thinking in a hypocritical way. We can kid ourselves we are being honest. But how could self-deception mislead an omniscient deity who sees everything? If the person praying has no honest connection with the Divine then how could their pleas be heard? Any private prayer lacking authenticity would seem a complete waste of time.
4 Whether pursuing natural or spiritual things
In a natural state of anxiety, we may be thinking about the ‘little me’. Wanting what I want. What I crave. What benefits me. What would make me feel or look good? This could be bodily comfort, security, appreciation, getting my own way, social status, money, and so on. Maybe my anxiety is due to some sense of threat to one of these desires. When a worldly and self-centered state of mind rules our lives, we close ourselves to higher insights and intuitions.
In other words, central to prayer for our fear, is not thinking naturally. Instead it is using our capacity for deeper awareness.
To reflect on events is valuable. I would say that praying provides us with this opportunity to explore our desires and to probe beneath the surface of things. This is so especially where there are stressful or unfamiliar experiences. It enables us to apply a spiritual framework to recent circumstances. To gain deeper insight into our anxiety.
Critics might suppose there is nothing much different between prayer and the psychological processes involved in consulting a therapist. The professional psychologist facilitates self-awareness and self-exploration. Yes, there can be a psychology of prayer. However I do not assume that prayer is ‘nothing but’ psychology.
Praying with their Divine Counsellor can lead Christian believers to think about their lives in a different way by ‘putting on the mind of Christ’. This takes them out of themselves and raises their spirit to a higher level.
If prayer provides a deeper frame of meaning, then events can be understood in terms of how they might relate to the higher aims of God. For example to realise that the challenge of uncertainty keeps us on our toes. It tests our character. It shows us what really matters. We can learn from the personal set-backs and crises and thus grow as people.
5 Whether seeking one’s own or the divine will
Sceptics ask ‘but if there were a God of Love, wouldn’t he be already doing all that is possible to make things better and so not need our prayers as a reminder?’ It’s true that in a state of fear we can be desperate for help. For a while it may seem that God is neglecting us or has forgotten us. We feel we need to tell him what to do. But as we start to pray, we soon realise our illusion.
“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.” (philosopher, Søren Kierkegaard, Danish existential philosopher, )
I have experienced a divine presence both pointing me in the right direction and encouraging my actions. But not always. Sometimes I am too busy expecting what I want rather than asking for enlightenment. I would say that when private prayer is inspired, then I come to appreciate whether what I want would be good for me or not.
In the Lord’s Prayer we are asking to let God’s will be done. “Your kingdom come. Your will be done” It doesn’t say ‘My kingdom come. My will be done.’
6 Whether feeling self-abasement or humble submission
We can feel anxious about our misdeeds. However, when it comes to prayer, we may be put off by the Christian word ‘sin’. It sounds oppressive to many people. People sometimes assume that the humility required of those praying amounts to guilt-ridden self-abasement.
On the contrary, I would suggest that no such attitude is required. Instead of judging ourselves as generally bad, we might simply consider only a particular thing we did as so. It is not me who is unworthy, but rather something I once wanted.
Actually, not all anxious thoughts about our conduct are fair and reasonable. Prayer for some of us can be an obsessive-compulsive activity that takes over our lives. An excessive preoccupation with guilt and over-scrupulousness occurs. This happens when we focus our minds on trivial actions.
Some counsellors even speak as if all guilty feelings were unhealthy and need to be expunged. I certainly wouldn’t go that far. I think we need to be more discriminating. Some guilt is rational and some irrational. Some anxiety reasonable and some neurotic.
It is easier to see the difference when we basically feel okay about ourselves. Then we can move on in dealing with our unease. Forgetting unimportant mistakes and nonsense. Instead trying to make amends for real misconduct and seeking a change in direction.
“When we feel ashamed in front of other people, it is often because we sense that they can see through us and there are no defences left against their critical gaze. Though God can see through us, and there are no more places to hide from him, his gaze is a benevolent one.” (Frazer Watts, researcher in the psychology of religion)
Having a humble attitude doesn’t stop us from retaining a positive self-attitude. If we believe that the source of all goodness is able to be present within each of us, how could we not recognise this?
7 Whether one adopts a deferring or co-operative attitude
Non-believers point out that religious people seem to be expecting a miracle from an imaginary supernatural entity. Yes, I would say it is a mistake to see prayer as a quick fix for personal fears. One that avoids the slow, hard work involved in personal healing and growth. What is called a ‘deferring’ approach in prayer implies that whatever is to be done is fully in the hands of the higher power and the person praying does not have to do anything. I would say that most people who use a deferring style tend to have less control over their anxiety.
I may start a prayer assuming that whatever is to be done to take away my fear, is fully in the hands of God. But by the end of the prayer I realise that I also need to make a change. In other words, not praying for an earthly miracle but rather praying for support and strength needed to do what is needed to face my fears. Fighting them, as it were, yet at the same time acknowledging I am doing so in my Lord’s strength.
“Prayer is not an old woman’s idle amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.” (Mahatma Gandhi, Indian non-violent political activist)
Asking for help doesn’t mean escaping responsibility for our own conduct.
“Prayer indeed is good, but while calling on the gods a man should himself lend a hand.” (Hippocrates, Greek physician who established medicine as a profession)
8 Whether attributing healing to oneself or to the Divine
It seems natural for us to think in terms of what causes things to happen. We suppose what the cause is of why we have found confidence in dealing with something that had been alarming. Or to take another example, we assume we know why we have started to feel less anxious about some future bad event. Prayer invites us to attribute calmness and peace to the one prayed to. Otherwise we have little alternative but to take credit for ourselves. Or else to attribute a change in mood to chance.
The religious attitude is to attribute what is good to a transcendent source of all that is good. The Divine Being who is external to us. However, if we were to believe only in this transcendence, we might start to feel helpless in the face of infinite power. On the other hand, if we were to believe only in the power of peace and calm as some potential to be found only within us then we would have to fall back on self-reliance.
Actually, we can think of God as both an internal and external cause of our state of mind. A divine power present within us with which we feel closely allied.
Summary
To sum up what I am claiming is that prayer can reduce fear. However this depends on our doing several things.
1 Invoking a loving rather than a punitive sphere
2 Engaging the heart of feeling as well as the head of thought
3 Being genuine rather than hypocritical
4 Pursuing spiritual rather than natural things
5 Seeking the divine will rather than one’s own will
6 Submitting in a humble rather than a self-abasing way
7 Adopting a co-operative rather than a deferring attitude
8 Attributing healing to the Divine rather than to oneself
Conclusion
I just want to be a calmer person who feels less anxious about the uncertainties of life and about my actual past wrong-doing. I have discovered that something like a personal revelation is present within my prayer. And so I feel that as we better learn to put our trust in the universe and its creator, we can all feel a sense comfort, reassurance and hope.
“God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Copyright 2020 Stephen Russell-Lacy
Author of Heart, Head & Hands Swedenborg’s perspective on emotional problems
