Who hasn’t done something that they believe they should not have done? Kicked the cat? Stolen stationary from the office? Disclosed what a friend confided? Or whatever? Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes, and do something wrong. And so from time to time you are likely to experience a feeling of guilt. It may … Continue reading Guilt — Why won’t it go away?
According to established research, one in four of us experience some form of mild mental health difficulty each year. Even if you do not suffer – what the medics call – identifiable psychiatric morbidity – nevertheless you still may feel bad; fed up, irritable, worried or distressed. In which case, if you are to be … Continue reading Heal distress — Can spiritual practices help?
If there were no such thing as sympathy for the plight of others, then indeed the world would be a sorry place. In public life there would be no social harmony: at the workplace no cooperation: and within the home no loving kindness. On the other hand you might wonder whether sympathy is always a … Continue reading Sympathy – Can I feel more warmth to others?
Do you ever say to yourself “I can’t help how I feel.” Part of the humour of the long running radio show Just a Minute is the mocking of its chairman Nicholas Parsons. When panellist Graham Norton was given the topic ‘Freudian slips’ he talked about ‘man love’ revealing his ‘gruntaffilic attraction to Parsons’ and … Continue reading I can’t help how I feel — can I?
Feeling grateful may be good for you. Research on feeling grateful, summarised by Dr Robert Emmons University of California, has been conducted on thousands of people around the world. Those who practice gratitude tend to be more creative, bounce back more quickly from adversity, have a stronger immune system, and have stronger social relationships than … Continue reading How can I give thanks when I don’t feel grateful?
Are you finding the going a bit hard these days? Dissatisfied with life without knowing why? In a rut? “Where does discontent start? You are warm enough, but you shiver. You are fed, yet hunger gnaws you. You have been loved, but your yearning wanders in new fields” (John Steinbeck) Reasons for feeling in a … Continue reading In a rut? Is life a slog? Time for inner change.
What you did wasn’t that bad. A hasty ill-judged remark, an over-indulgence, a minor act of selfishness. You want to forget about it but the memory lingers. What if somebody else noticed? You feel uneasy with yourself. Is this the tiny prick of conscience? A sense you have done something wrong? You want to feel better about yourself but you cannot change what happened. You want to find self-respect after doing wrong.
How would you feel, if, as part of your job, you had to shake hands with someone who probably ordered the murder of your cousin? A similar situation faced the Queen when she met former IRA commander Martin McGuiness. I would not be surprising is she had felt at least a little resentment. The meeting … Continue reading Resentment – How to feel less of it?
Even living as independent adults in their forties, people can still be haunted by their experience of being mistreated as a child. Such individuals also tend to have recurring negative moods and worry, and long-lasting problems like poor self-esteem, or low self-confidence. From my experience of over thirty years as a clinical psychologist, I can say that an unhappy … Continue reading Childhood — How do I tackle unhappy memories?
Brian Moore the former English rugby international player sees something of discontent in himself. What he wanted was success. And he pushed himself really hard over and over again to do well. He now recognises that whether it be in sport, business or whatever field you are in, if you are too driven you can … Continue reading Discontent – Why do I have this?