You may feel undeserving of any happy destiny because you are fundamentally not okay with yourself. Well, for all I know you might well be consumed by a huge ego, be selfish, vain, bitchy, resentful, etc. But I would like to ask how do we really know when we are basically bad? That would be … Continue reading How bad a person am I?
What you did wasn’t that bad. A hasty ill-judged remark, an over-indulgence, a minor act of selfishness. You want to forget about it but the memory lingers. What if somebody else noticed? You feel uneasy with yourself. Is this the tiny prick of conscience? A sense you have done something wrong? You want to feel better about yourself but you cannot change what happened. You want to find self-respect after doing wrong.
No future? Lost hope? Can’t see how things might improve? When we get into this negative state of mind, we lack energy even to do the easiest of things and nothing gives us much pleasure.
For Macbeth, life seemed to have a future — one of power and status. Yet he also felt such things were insignificant. For he said:
“Life is but a walking shadow… a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury – signifying nothing.”
Perhaps he was feeling that only what the world could offer were mere illusions.