I suppose it is natural for us to feel resentful when others demean us, frustrate us or do us harm. I feel resentful about how Sharon spoke to me. Not what she said, but how she said it – shouting and slamming the phone down. It’s not as if this were a one-off: there have … Continue reading Resentful – How can I stop this feeling?
Do you trust senior members of your organisation to get it right or to be a credible source of information? Do you trust the constant stream of commercial messages and political spin to which you are exposed. What can be done to help to build trust? Benefits of trust within an organisation and community Organisational … Continue reading Build trust — How to help my organisation.
In the fairy tale The Adventures of Pinocchio, the title character is the opposite of cynical. He is a gullible puppet who is repeatedly duped by other characters. Part of his transformation, into a human being, is learning to avoid becoming too trusting, while still exercising empathy. A popular test of gullibility is to tell … Continue reading Cynical or too trusting? Where is a happy medium?
You want to experience the Christmas spirit but you feel uneasy. You will be with the relatives and in-laws, whom perhaps you don’t often see, and you want it to go well without too much family drama. But you know you will be spending a lot of time with perhaps a person or two you … Continue reading Christmas spirit – How do I foster it?
You discover that the popular celebrity you like and have enjoyed watching on television has a dark side, abusing his position to engage in predatory sexual contact with children. Not only do you feel betrayed by him but also by the broadcasters who turned a blind eye. It makes you wonder who to trust. You … Continue reading Who to trust these days?
Yes it can happen. No one likes their faults to be pointed out and some with thin skins see criticism as a personal attack. They get shirty, defensive or bite back. You probably would think twice before taking the risk of saying what you really think to them. Yet keeping quiet means not doing anything about the problem.
A lot of us have grown careless in what we say. “It wasn’t my fault we lost the game, I didn’t hear the whistle.” or “I was pushed over and my foot hurt.” Who has never made up an excuse to stop feeling embarrassed? This covering up may seem harmless enough but over time a … Continue reading Honesty – Is it really the best policy?
One of the conditions of effective counselling according to Carl Rogers is unconditional acceptance. Not judging others. Some people believe that unconditional acceptance can be a healing factor also in ordinary interactions of everyday life. For them this would involve practising forgiveness when someone hurts you, and giving encouragement to those who fail to show good behavior, and even not criticising those who do wrong.
But just how realistic is this approach?
Children and grandchildren can provide your child rearing with wonderful moments. Their spontaneity and sense of fun can brighten your day. But almost out of the blue all hell can break loose and they can be a real pain testing your limits and boundaries. What they want can be different from what you want. They … Continue reading Child rearing – What spiritual practice helps?
I know who my enemy is: the individual who maliciously damages my property: tramps all over the flower-bed in the garden: scratches the car with a key: trashes the home during a burglary. I feel angered by anyone who threatens to harm my sense of well-being. These are the people I want to complain about and get my own back on. So how on earth does one stop hating such people. How do you love your enemy?